Saturday, March 05, 2005

Star

This four issue mini series is a complete and utter waste of time. There is nothing even remotely engaging, unique, or even interesting to be found throughout the entire course of the story, which is nothing but re-hashed superhero cliches.

So the government was paying to have a top secret weapon made, but then no longer wanted it so it fell into the hands of bad guys. In order to sell it to other bad guys the other bad guys needed a demonstration and since Star, the merc with a mouth... no, wait, I forgot this isn't a Deadpool comic, but it very well could be a crappy knockoff since Star is intent on tossing around terrible puns and standard fight lines, all eye-rolling good. Anyways, so Star is fighting a bunch of bad guys along with some mini-planes and whatnot. Eventually, however, he figures everything out, there's a guest appearance by Savage Dragon, there's a not-so-subtlely hinted at secret origin reveal, and we're done.

I was really amazed at the complete asstasticness of this series. All of the dialogue was hokey and didn't feel natural at all, and all of the obvious hints as to who Star really was made it seem like this was written for a fourth grade audience, which would have been fine except a lot of the time there's also tons of gratuitous violence that I personally don't think fourth graders should be exposed to on an everyday basis... although I wouldn't want anyone to be exposed to this type of writing on an everday basis.

The character of Star is atrociously dumb. He's a guy that can fight and shoots ninja stars from little ninja star shooters on his wrists. Wow. How awesome. He also is capable of pulling off the much overused "Oh no, there's no way out of this situation. I'll surely die... unless I just TRY HARDER!" It's like every superhero isn't really trying unless they're surely going to die.

The art is also extremely bad. I've seen some rush jobs and every issue here was either a rush job or the artist was extemely untalented. My guess is a little of both. The art is very underdeveloped, undetailed, and sketchy. The inking and coloring couldn't hide the fact that it was primitive.

This is simply one of the worst mini's I've read in a while now. It's been refreshing to be reading at least mildly interesting comics for a while now, and reading crap like this makes you appreciate well written and illustrated comics.

Ratings
Art: 1.25
Story: 1
Overall: 1

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